Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ahh the Holidays...

As the holidays are approaching, things are kind of difficult for the hubby and I. Not only do I think that the perfect Christmas present would be a framed ultrasound picture; but everywhere there is 'Baby's First Christmas' memorabilia everywhere, it's impossible to ignore.
It doesn't help that everyone, and I mean everyone......is pregnant or just had a baby. People that don't know us very well are always talking about the joys of having children and how we shouldn't wait to expand our family.
Of course, I thought we'd be pregnant by now, or have a baby. Hopefully with the fertility procedures we are trying we will be by Roy's birthday (in April).
As much as coming home to an empty house is hard for us; we are enjoying being a childless couple for now. Staying out late; sleeping in, having hot chocolate for breakfast, showering every day, having the backseat available, the list goes on. :)
Happy holidays to everyone!
the bitter childless couple,
Rachel and Roy

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bath and Body Works

Let's just start this out by saying....I have a love affair with bath and body works. Almost nothing makes me happier, and I think about it when we are apart. I use the products sparingly so they will last as long as possible. When I have to throw the empty bottles away, I almost can't do it. It is very hard for me. It's like saying goodbye to your favorite shirt because it doesn't fit you anymore, or having to let go of your favorite pair of shoes because your dog chewed on them. It feels like parting with a piece of myself, and it is excruitiatingly painful. :(
I look on Bath and Body works website all the time, just admiring pictures and drooling. I almost always have a tab of their website open, and when they have a sale, my willpower is challenged to it's limits. I bargain with Roy; "If I only eat one meal a day, it will cut down on the food bill and I can go shopping! They are having a sale!!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!" It is very sad, and I probably should talk to a professional about it. But I'm perfectly happy with my addiction. Bath and Body works and I, we are a beautiful pair, and I enjoy every minute of it!
I love walking around in their store. All the beautiful bottles lined up by scentes and function, the exquisite tables full of bottles of heaven calling my name...all the happy people, the whole store calling out to me..."Buy me! You need me! Take me home! I smell SO GOOD! I will make you prettier! I will make your hair shinier and softer! I will make your skin smooth like a baby's bottom until you are 200 years old! I will make you a better version of yourself!" It's exhausting.
I swear they have cocain in the bottles. As I open them and take a deep whiff, I can feel my pupils dilate; my breath quicken, my body shiver, my mind reels, I lose all sense of time and space, I suddenly don't care about anything else. The moment Roy drags me out kicking and screaming; just when I think I'm okay, my body screams for another hit, and I bolt back to the heaven on earth calling for me.
I love wandering around in the store. Running my fingers over the little bottles and boxes. Just staring at everything. I block out everyone there and pretend the whole store is my bathroom closet. It's magical. I can't even think about anything better than that right now. It makes me smile. :)
I love that store. It's amazing. As soon as Roy becomes an officer we are buying our own store, seriously. Then I can go in and kick everyone out and just wander around touching and smelling everything to my heart's content.
Until that day, I'll just keep dreaming and ticking off store salespeople becase I stay in there for so long and touch and smell everything. :D

Dreaming of wonderful beauty and hygiene products,
Rachel

Everything me

So I realized that I needed to post another blog post soon, but there really isn't anything going on in our lives right now. So, in case anyone out there besides my friends and my mommy are reading, I'll tell you a little about myself.

1. I LOVE shoes, oh my goodness do I love shoes. Especially high heels. I am almost ALWAYS wearing high heels. They make me happy. :)

2. We have 2 miniature doxins named Buddy and Bambi, and a boston terrier named Miho. Buddy and Bambi are 7 and 8 and Miho is 1.

3. My husband has High Functioning Asperger's Syndrome(google it), and we have frequent discussions about the use of sarcasm and facial expressions; as well as appropriate and innapropriate comments to different people.

4. People really bug me, which is what makes hubby and I such a good match. He's not so good with people, and I could do without them. Behind my smile, yes; I am judging you. But I chose to keep it to myself and vent to Roy later instead of say something to your face. You're welcome.

5. Roy and I have been trying to have a baby for the last 27 months. I'm over the needing to touch every baby and pregnant belly in sight phase, and I'm on to the "your baby reminds me of what I can't have, and your pregnant belly fills me with rage. So no, I don't want to hold your baby; and no, I don't want to feel your baby kick." Women always look so astonished when I refuse them. "The baby is kicking, do you want to feel?" "No." "Oh....okay..."
"Little Susie just LOVES people! Do you want to hold her?" "No, I don't." "Oh...um..Okay.."

6. The smell of bleach fills me with a happiness I can't quite express. It smells of all things clean and disinfected. If there was a 'bleach' room spray, I would totally buy it and my house would forever smell of bleach. The neighbors probably think I'm high, I smile so much while bleaching my kitchen and bathrooms.

7. I've started doing these pregnancy mantras to help get me pregnant faster (has not worked so far...) and it involves talking to my belly and future baby about how we are ready for them to come to us, and my body is ready to be pregnant and carry a healthy baby to term, yadda yadda. Since I have started doing this, I have started talking to everything. Inatimate objects, animals, everything. It makes me feel better and it's cheaper than a therapist.

8. I LOVE cupcakes! I love making them, I love eating them, and I love giving people cupcakes I have made. It makes them happy, it makes me happy; everybody's happy! :)

9. Hubby and myself are mildly obsessed with fish. We currently have a 110 gallon tank set up in our living room, along with a 65 gallon tank; a 30 gallon and 10 gallon in our bedroom, and a 45 gallon in the guest bedroom. We have a couple of empty tanks we are thinking of setting up in the other guest room/office to breed our own feeders.

10. Roy and I sort of treat our dogs like our children since; if you have been following my blog, we can't have any currently. I realize at the end of the day they are just animals, but they are very much apart of our family, and when speaking to them; Roy and I refer to ourselves as 'mommy' and 'daddy' (In the privacy of our own home of course). For example, when taking them to the dog park, "Okay, mommy is going to let you off your leashes now. Let's not bolt as fast as your absurdly short legs can get you into the bushes after squirrels. It ends up being nobody's idea of fun." Or when Roy gets home, "Daddy's home!" and they all proceed to jump up on him excitedly and try to lick him all over. They are not satisfied until they have each received individual attention. They get hugs and kisses before I do. :/

11. Roy and I are both VERY pro Attachment Parenting (google it) and Gentle Birthing (google it). We (mostly me) are good about keeping our mouths shut because I realize not everyone agrees with us, but if you ask me my opinion hold on to your panties. ;) If you ask for suggestions I will tell you that letting your child scream until they have vomitted all over themselves because you locked them in their dark room and they are scared, is crappy parenting and you should think about not breeding anymore.

12. I am probably one of the only grown women that is still afraid of the dark. I will take my phone as a flashlight to go to the bathroom at night. Thankfully my hubby is accomodating and understanding. He'll go turn lights on for me and go check out the bumps in the night. :)

13. I LOVE all animals except spiders and moths. I swear there is a PETA member in me dying to get out! :D

14. Not a lot of things make me happier than baking. I love mixing ingredients together and pouring them into different pans or molds and taking them out of the oven...the smell of baked goods filling the house, and the sense that I have created something that makes other people smile and will make me do 4 sessions of pilates in one day so I don't get fat. ;)