The things that change when you are trying to get pregnant....

So this post is all about the things that change when you are trying to conceive. Some of them are funny, some of them, not so much.

1. "Hey Roy, you guys want to get in the hot tub?" Roy- "Nope. Hot tubs fry sperm and when your testes are heated to that temperature it can take 6 months for your sperm count and mobility to get back to normal. It also hinders ovulation and can damage a growing embryo. So even though Rachel's probably not pregnant, we don't want to take any chances on the offchance that she is and we just don't know yet.  ....A no would have done just fine, huh?"   "Ummmm....yeah"

2. I'm horny or I'm in the mood is now, "I'm ovulating"

3. I avoid all caffinated beverages, lunchmeats, tuna, heating pads, aged cheeses, and when exercising avoid letting my heartrate get any higher than 140 bpm, and I take 2 prenatals.

4.He doesn't take hot showers, drinks caffinated beverages when I'm ovulating (gives the swimmers a boost), eats extra celery, takes an extra multivitamin, doesn't wear tight jeans, and gets at least 9 hours of sleep.

5. I turn into a crazy woman the last 2 weeks of my cycle, talking myself into believing that I'm pregnant. Paying attention to every cramp, twinge, or feeling of nausea, or sore bewbies. I usually start taking tests starting 7 days after I ovulate. When they are, of course, negative; I just convince myself that it was too early anyway. Then take another one the next day. :)

6. when I have to fill out forms that ask if I'm pregnant or not, I always debate what to mark. I then start ranting to Roy, "Why don't they have a 'maybe' option?? Why does it have to be yes or no??? They didn't leave spaces for me to explain that I might be but it's too early to test!!!" Roy- "Well that didn't stop you from testing this morning...."

7. My poor husband knows more about getting pregnant than anyone we know, including some of our doctors! Seriously, ask him. He plans his social activities around my ovulation dates. :)

8. I give my body a pep talk when I'm ovulating "Okay, we can do this. The timing of sex was perfect, now it's all up to you, guys. Swim little swimmers, swim!!! Catch that egg, catch that egg, catch that egg!" A couple of days later, "We should be implanting right about now, I've built my uterine lining up nice and thick, so snuggle in there! Give mommy a nice pretty second line in a couple of weeks, okay?"

I'm tired and this is all I can think of. I'll add more when I think of them, goodnight!